The worst part is, it may seem like everything! It does matter! If this- then that, and that's the end of it! Chris calls it "spinning." (As in out-of-control.) And honestly, it would be nice if worrying was a free spin class/workout, right? Free workout!
The second hard part is realizing when you're spinning and getting out of it. I'm one that if there's a problem, I like it to be fixed like, yesterday. SO it is double hard when I'm on the merry-go-round spinning, worrying, and can see a solution in the distance. I should have stopped this problem already! However, I just don't know how to jump off! Maybe a little stop, drop, and roll action?
I feel even writing this it's so easy to be confused and caught up. My point is that I had to realize just a part- a short time in my life- is on that merry-go-round. There is a whole theme park to explore! That's the bigger picture.
It's okay for a little to get stuck, but at a point, and when I was ready, I had to take a breath and realize that there's so much else to see! Eventually, the carousel will slow and I can hop off and skip along onto the next thing.
It's similar to me getting over the fear of monsters in my dreams. I kept having the same repeating dream and every time I would wake up and think, well that was silly it's obviously not real. One night, in the middle of my dream where I stood a hundred times before, the monster came out and I said, "you know what? I know this is a dream. You're not real and you can't scare me!" (Some Divergent or Inception stuff, I know.) Boom! Gone! No more monster dreams!
It took a few times of knowing it wasn't real before I actually "jumped off" the cycling carousel and faced the bigger picture- my fears weren't real. I had to take a moment of time to slow down to realize this.
All that being said, I didn't even know I was spinning recently until I sat down to write a new post about my recent travels. I had to move photos from the laptop we had on vacay with us to the desktop, and I came across our wedding slideshow.
This compilation included all of our closest friends and family, and had memories of past travels and fun events. This 20 minute video showcased parts of 6 years of our story together.
There was a moment where I gasped because I had forgotten about these memories, I instead let them be clouded over with stress, worry and fear. Cue the tears! What a moment of clarity of what really matters. There is so much to be thankful for.
So without further ado... family that calls just to say hi, friends that share some of my most special memories, friends who walk in the door without knocking, neighbors that run over to borrow some flour, friends worldwide that we have yet to meet and bond with, I am SO thankful. These little moments are what add up to make the story of my life. I wouldn't be me without you! Thank you for making my life exciting, surprising, beautiful.
So thankful and #blessed to share my life with you, friends.
"Elopement style" engagement photos by our very good friend Andy B and his furry assistant @tugboatthelab. These were taken when Chris and I were celebrating getting "paper married." They were also our reunion photos after his homecoming from a 6 month deployment. Thankful for these amazing friends that were there for burgers and beer to celebrate with us!
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